FAQ - What is the Best Pillow?
Part 1 - Is The Pain In My Neck Or My Pillow?
One of the questions I frequently hear in my practice, especially from people dealing with neck, shoulder, or back issues, is, “What pillow do you recommend?”
Most people have experimented with different kinds of head support at one time or another.
And then there are those who swear by a specific pillow, claiming it’s the key to a good night’s sleep.
But here’s the thing: there’s no one-pillow-fits-all answer.
The suitability of the pillow depends on several factors that are unique to you, including:
- How you like to sleep—whether you’re a back, side, or stomach sleeper.
- The shape, size and suppleness of your skeleton not to mention the size, shape and softness of your bed.
- How your standing posture translates to lying down, affecting the relative positions of your head, shoulders, spine, and pelvis.
Children, with their soft and flexible bodies, may find comfort even without a pillow, unlike adults who often need soft bedding for comfort.
Don’t get me wrong. I am not against using a comfortable pillow or bed.
I am all for comfort.
In fact, I encourage you to become an expert in your own comfort. I want you to be able to discern the subtle nuances of your comfort just as a wine connoisseur detects the different flavors on their palate.
Try this 2-minute experiment to find out how well you know your own comfort. You will need a few folded towels or gardening pads.
Lie down on your back on the floor. A carpeted surface is ideal, but you can also use a mat or blanket for added comfort.
Place one or more folded towels or pads under your head to support it (folded, not rolled, towels work best for this purpose).
As you lie on your back, try to sense the position of your head. Is it tilted back or forward? Is your chin or forehead closer to the ceiling, or are they at the same level?
If your forehead is lower than your chin:
This means your head is tilted back (See Photo 1). As a result, the back of the neck is too arched. Adding more support under the head would make it more comfortable for you. Add some support little by little till you feel your forehead and chin are at the same level and your head is in a neutral position (See Photo 2).
If your forehead is higher than your chin:
This means your head is tilted forward (See Photo 3). As a result, the back of the neck is rounded, and your chin is tucked in. Reducing support under the head would make it more comfortable for you. Reduce the support little by little till you feel your forehead and chin are at the same level and your head is in a neutral position (See Photo 2).
If your forehead and chin are at the same level:
Congratulations! You chose the right amount of support, where your head is oriented in the same manner as it would be while standing (See Photo 2).
How much support did you use under your head? If you chose too much or too little support the first time, don’t worry—it’s not important.
What matters is this: What did this experience teach you about the thickness of the pillow you need under your head while lying on your back?
More importantly, what did this little experiment teach you about yourself?
- About how your head usually rests on the floor without support?
- About how attuned you are to your own comfort?
Was it easy for you to sense the position of your head?
Do you think it is even worthwhile to pay attention to your comfort? You might be surprised to learn how many people don’t feel they deserve to be comfortable.
During my group lessons, the movements are usually done lying on the floor. Before we begin, I ask newcomers to spend a few minutes experimenting with the right amount of support for their head.
When you take the time to make this small adjustment, you are not only much more comfortable, but you also experience the lesson differently. As a result, you invariably leave the class with a deeper understanding of yourself and your preferences**.
The same principle applies to the type of pillow you need. A one-pillow-fits-all strategy simply doesn’t work. Knowing your individual needs and preferences is crucial. For example, if you’re a side sleeper or someone who switches to lying on your back during the night, your needs will differ from someone who sleeps exclusively on their back.
That’s it for this week! If this article raises new questions about the size, shape, and softness of your pillow, stay tuned.
Next week, I’ll discuss how your body size, shape, and suppleness affect your pillow choices.
Warm Regards
Ravi Prabhakar
** Lately, I’ve been thinking about how even small changes can make a big difference when you really understand yourself. I’ve been busy working on a more in-depth version of my series, “Getting to Know Yourself,” and I’m very excited about the new version.
Expect many opportunities to experience firsthand how little adjustments can lead to big improvements in your life.
Stay tuned for more information!
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